02 March 2024 -- Boise, ID

Fuck!  I was doing okay for less than a week before it comes crashing down
all over again.  I'm so fucking weary of all this.

Looking back through old past venting in Other Places and it really is a
recurring thing.  I need to get out of here, but can't because of my own fear
of myself.  How it hurts so much because everything compounds on me, I can
only keep up the strength to feel like I'm doing nothing more than
"surviving" for like, maybe a week at a time.  And then it all goes to shit
so bad and I wanna die.

I'm done with it!  I have tests scheduled for getting my GED since I dropped
out earlier and never got a diploma, it'll help me get a job, I can get the
fuck out of here and start living.  Anything to be free, anything to feel
something, something to lead me to anything.

[Update: I did in fact get those tests done, I now have my GED.  Maybe this
really is attainable?]

Also.  Girls literally want only one thing and it's fucking disgusting: a
reliable e-mail provider in 2024+, not tied in to AI or crypto grifts, that
you can access easily from a standalone desktop client, that wont be sent
directly to other folks' spam folders the moment it comes into contact with
anyone's inbox